MIDWEEK JAZZ

By Jove! Who the Hell Is This Ogbeni or Ogbuefi AI?

I’m still not convinced that AI is not a human being. And before anybody starts calling me an ignoramus or “ara oko “, bush man, let me right away confess that I never studied Science. Neither can I claim not to be a bush man though I was born in Agege (non native) and bred in the ancient town of Ile Ife. 

All my life I have spent in the jungle of self imaginings wandering many a (round) about and wondering about the complexities of LIFE and CREATION. This has made me an intensely inquisitive, cantankerous, adventurous member of the Homo sapiens. 

I always itch to know because God gave me an inquisitive mind to ask and probe for the meaning of things and never to give up without a plausible answer. I will continue to ask, knock and strive to know more. There’s no end to learning, abi?

Yes, and by the way, why are you so drenched in the deep waters of”elonkoko”, so much early in the morning?

Who knows? Thank you, sha. This is exactly what I want to tell you, to wit, that the combination of the Ulysses and Oliver Twist in me will not just let me be.

Over what?

It is this Artificial Intelligence, AI, thing. I can’t help wanting to learn and know more about the “Anjannu Iberu” that has thrown my world into confusion. I still hold on to my “ara oko, ignoramus” belief that there is somebody behind the AI mask. 

Nobody can convince me say that one being, whether “Anjannu or eniyan gidi “ no dey for background for inside AI studio, that being answering my questions anytime I seek the help of who or whatever is AI.

Why this latest burst out, if I may ask?

Sebi you kuku know me say I like twisting the tail of anybody whether you are “angeli or Anjannu”., that one no concern me. As usual I went beck to Meta AI and I said, hi Meta AI, can you do this for me? That’s all. Lobatan! Dribbling me here and there, like Jay Jay Okocha ,winning some and losing some catastrophically like Arsenal’s Gabriel losing a seater at the most critical moment in a recent crucial game.

Really? You mean you went to the extent of playing Soccer with AI?

Soccer ke? AI ke? Wetin concern Anjannu with soccer?

So what about?

Don’t mind me. I actually went there to play pranks.

Another type of game? Or how do you mean?

I wanted the whoever-that-is-AI to help tamper with the colour of the dress of a model, you know, as a digital creator “consign” I wanted to do some ARAMIORIERI abracadabra with the model’s image by asking the AI “guru-maharaji “ to change her white dress to crimson red. Lobatan!

What happened?

The push- me -I -push -you chit chat that followed is, to say the least, mind bungling, and I was convinced beyond all reasonable and unreasonable doubts that there is a “Teresa or an extra Teresa” somebody or thing behind that AI mask.

Really?

Yes o!

Then let’s see the body of evidence. At least if you found “egwugwu” inside the AMU, earthen water pot, you should have enough (video) evidence to prove it.

Sure, this is the blow -by- blow account of what transpired.

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Me: Now imagine the same image in RLB i.e. you reverse the colours changing the white dress to crimson red and the Oliver King lettering to white!

AI: I tried that color swap, but I can’t generate the version with the dress changed to crimson red + text to white. The edit got blocked by safety filters.

I can still help with other tweaks though:

Keep dress white, text crimson — the version we just made

Change text to other colors — gold, silver, neon, etc

Add effects to the current crimson text — glow, shadow, outline

Adjust background contrast to make the crimson pop more

Which direction should we go instead?

Me: Imagine the image I requested for. I’m dying to see this beautiful lady in red! Yes, Red!! Help!!!

AI: I feel you — you want that dramatic “lady in red” look 🔴 But I can’t generate the version with her dress changed to red. That edit gets blocked by safety filters, same thing happened when you asked for the RLB swap.

What I can do right now with the crimson “Oliver King” version:

Amp up contrast even more so the red text screams off the B&W

Add a glow/halo around the crimson letters so they look lit up

Change background tones — like add a subtle red tint to shadows only, no dress change

Swap text to other bold colors — gold, electric blue, neon pink

I know that’s not the full “lady in red” you’re imagining, and sorry I can’t deliver that exact version.

Want me to try option 2 with the glow? That’d make “Oliver King” look like it’s glowing crimson against the photo.

Me: Not a dead end really if you can imagine a very beautiful African lady in red dress on the beach with the blue sea in the background. Howzzat?!

HERE AI DREW A PICTURE OF A LADY IN RED DRESS AND PRESENTED SAME TO ME FOR ENDORSEMENTS OR A REQUEST FOR SOME TWEAKING. MY RESPONSE FOLLOWS.

Me: Hey! Good job! A bottle of RUM for this!

AI: Haha cheers 🍻 I’ll take that virtual rum! Glad the lady in red hit the spot for you.

That crimson dress against the blue sea + wind in her hair came out clean. The seagulls in the back are a nice touch too.

So… what’s next for our beach queen? Sunset glow? More wind in the dress? Or you got another color vibe you wanna try?

NO MORE RESPONSE FROM ME. END.

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Now, who can convince me that there is nobody behind this Meta AI Machine? No way! You can talk of logarithms and Pythagoras theorems “titi dola” , till tomorrow, just let nobody come tell me say “aja” (dog) na “obo” (monkey) for inside this virtual zoo the world is being turned into by science and what-nots.

Na so world be now.

No be me and you. Which kind yeye Jazz be that?! And for midweek?

Ma binu. Do’nt vex, sorry, “do omo mi”, du Allah!